What Rebecca Black Actually Does

Today is Friday everybody! (No it isn't today is Tuesday.  Damn, I didn't know I was passed out so long, last time I drink and direct airplane traffic.  Stop with these jokes for a while, really, too soon.  Awe shoo, well I guess I will have to quit my traffic controller job and do something safer.  I hear nuclear power plant workers in Japan get paid a lot and that it is a safe working enviroment.  STOP IT.  Fine.) Tomorrow is Saturday, well actually Wednesday.

Rebecca Black, internet sensation, knows what is up.  In the minds of thirteen year old kids who have no idea how the real world works.  Rebecca Black is actually, in reality, an immortal Miyan calandar maker.  She actually doesn't know much English which is why her grammar is so horrible in her song.  She looked to the Miyan god of something or the other, Justin Beiber, and he told her that a new calandar needs to be created.  She then realized she didn't know dates or days of the week.

Black studied for many moons and finally learned the weekend, not Monday-Thursday but the weekend.  She became so excited that she decided to make a music video so everyone could know the weekend.  It could have been a good music video but being immortal, Black, did not know the customs of thirteen year old American children (like that they can't drive and that they have school on Friday not just the thought of school in the morning) and because she spoke mostley Miyan and Elvish (the Miyans loved the work of Tolkein) she did not know proper grammar either.

Unknowingly, the song "Friday" has started the appocolypse.  Beiber the god of something or the other in the Miyan culture decided that the world should end in 2012 so he influenced Black in a way as to get this song public.  We will all kill ourselves by 2012 because of the ten annoying as hell people who keep this song in circulation.  Before long other stupid things will become super famous: Snuggies, cartoons that aren't from the 90's, shows that only get you Lost... (Logan...that is kind of how things are right now.  (Pulls Trigger. BANG).