George Clooney is a tall order to some, but in real life he is much much more. We know that he has super hero skills, playing as Batman in Batman and Robin, however Clooney is also a super hero in real life as well. George Clooney has the power to take anything that has already been done and make it cool again and seem original by doing it. For example the Caesar haircut.
Ever wonder why Clooney always does that look? You know, squint, look down, look up, bob head cockily? Well it isn't just because he forgot his line. When Clooney was thirteen he was exposed to a vast amount of silly putty that was stored in a warehouse next to the nuclear power plant that just exploded (kinda) in Japan. Many of you may be saying "too soon Logan, too soon" though the silly putty was sent back in time due to the explosion which is how Clooney came into contact with it when he was thirteen, so really even though the earthquake would be bad to joke about this soon (we all know it was due to Godzilla anyway, darn indigestion why do asian have to be so spicy) the joke is actually making fun of something that is many many years old. How old is Clooney anyway? I will Google it...born in 1961. So 61 plus 13 would be 74 and 2011 minus 1974 is (getting calculator program running) 37 years ago. Now everyone knows I passed third grade math.
The radiation from the silly putty gave Clooney super sight, he can see his script from any location but only if he does the look. Beyond that Clooney can do some minor things like look attractive to middle aged women and grow facial hair a bit better than if he didn't come in contact with the radioactive silly putty.
In 2003 Clooney went to Illinois to pick corn and yell at Ohio from a safe distance. No one knows why but Clooney isn't too fond of Ohio. In 2005 he died of lung cancer but was placed in the pet cemetery which due to the silly putty had no ill effects. In 2006 he ate fifteen burritos in ten minutes which happens to be the most burritos eaten in ten minutes in George Clooney's house. Nothing much happened at all in 2007 due to a 2,100 year old melon that was discovered by archaeologists in Japan that Clooney believed to be apart of DaVinci's code. He had seven haircuts in the year 2008.
Clooney is now learning how to brush his teeth like a big boy and beat the final level of Call of Duty. He fell in love, with himself. They have gone on five dates and he really hopes it will work out this time, Clooney popped the question spontaniously a few days ago and no answer has been released. He has 11 children which he often robs casinos with.
There is not much else to say about George Clooney. He is a man of many oddities and enjoys kittens and watches X-Files as often as he can. Sometimes Clooney will eat chinese food sometimes just chinese. Clooney loves Shakespear (no homo) and Maureen Johnson but only as a friend.
By the way I just found out that Clooney replied to Clooney's wedding request. He said, "No, the Cloon is a freebird and this bird cannot get tied down until he finds Sasquatch." Clooney is on his way now through Michigain to look for Satch in Canada, facing his fear of Canadians and frankophones in an attempt to win himself over.
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